Mindfulness Challenge Day One

 

Day one exercise

Write as a doorway. What do you want to enter?

Try to use one or more of these words: Few, elaborate, voice, stone, iris, doorway, 

Entering 2022

Though a portal

A doorway

A narrow stone entrance

A wide elaborate walkway

A Milky Way full of stars

A night sky white with clouds

Looking forward to

Leaving the whirlwind of 2021 behind

Entering the new year

With no expectations

With a little hope

With a lot of uncertainty

Open to possibilities

Scared of falling back

Excited about moving forward

Leaving behind worn walkways

And barely touched paths

A list of could’ve, should’ves,

Wondering where the year went

How time could move so quickly.

Bringing me to 

The doorway

We all will enter

Each at our own speed

In our own time zone

With our own wants and needs

Midnight kisses and celebrations

Fireworks

Ghost images in the windows

Reflections of tvs

Candles, lights.

ATime to go to sleep 

Tomorrow will look like just another day

But i know better

Day one of a new year

Reflecting, resolving, renewing.

Wondering where the years have gone

And where they will take me.

Entering 2022

With an open mind

An open heart

At peace

Searching, Seeking,

Wandering, wondering.

Entering doorways and portals

To see what lies beyond the threshold.

Unafraid of consequences

Because consequences are the point of living.

Looking for the doorway 

That tells me as I enter,

"You have arrived."

Christmas Eve Day Musings

 I had the day off and spent a couple of hours in a coffee shop sipping and writing. Here's what tumbled out of my head. Number two was inspired by a conversation on a Zoom call I was on in the morning. Number five was inspired by an email I got that said to be intentional about your writing. Hm.

I. 

Christmas Eve Day

A cold rain is falling in the high desert

A few hundred miles further north or 1,000 feet higher

And it would be snow.

Snow is much prettier than rain

Softer, too.

-----------------------

II.

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb

The ties of friends in battle.

Had nothing to do with family blood.

Somehow the phrase distilled into

Blood is thicker than water.

A corruption of the original meaning.

Some say the spirit is thicker than blood.

And on and on we go

Interpreting, searching, rewriting.

------------------------

III.

Christmas Eve Day

Merry Christmas is in the air

Closing government buildings

Shutting down stores and restaurants early

Crowded parking lots 

As people rush to find

The items they forgot

To buy

For

Cooking, baking, gifting.

Humming along to Christmas music

Everywhere they go.

Trying to remain cheerful

Rather than stress about relationships

Potential arguments

And dietary issues.

Ah, family and friends

Preparing to gather

Together

To feast and be merry

To feast and be joyful

To feast and watch football

Or basketball

Or old movies.

Expecting noise

Expecting sullen quiet

Expecting nothing

And hoping for the best

Christmas Eve Day will soon be Christmas Eve

No more time to prepare

Tomorrow is the big day.

Whether you celebrate or not,

Christmas Day is not just another day.

Merry, happy, gifts, prayers, and singing

For many.

For some,

The world seems to shut down

And expect everyone to have a place to go

People to be with

Food to feast on

Gifts to give and receive.

Christmas Eve Day,

It isn’t everyone’s holiday

But it’s impossible to not feel the pull.

Or feel the solitude 

when the sun sets on December 24

And when the sun rises on Christmas Day..

----------------------------

IV.

Happy Christmas weekend.

The wind is blowing

Cold.

The sky is white with clouds.

At least the rain has stopped.

If only it would snow,

And turn this bleak day into

Something of beauty.

Waiting for the clouds to clear,

The sun to set,

The moon to rise,

And stars to sparkle.

Waiting for the holiday season

To reach a crescendo.

Hoping the high notes last 

Long into the new year.

--------------------------

V.

Set your intentions

Commit to putting in the time and effort

Sounds like a lot of work

To have a relaxing and fulfilling experience.

What happened to

Breathe in, breathe out

Be yourself

Don’t let how others think about you

Cloud how you live your life?

Intentional is a work term

I’d rather not bring it into my personal space.

Commitment sounds like marriage

I don’t need that right  now either.

So I gues my intention

Is to do things my way

And my commitment

Is to not let others dictate how I should live.

--------------------

VI.

Christmas is an interesting holiday

It celebrates a birth

But not on the day of the birth.

It celebrates peace and good will,

With over indulgence and gift binging.

In certain countries the Christmas season is imposed

On everyone, regardless of religion.

Merry Christmas is a salutation and a farewell,

Christmas decorations begin appearing at Halloween

And Christmas music is played nonstop for over a month.

Which leads some people to wonder

What would Jesus think about this?

What are we really celebrating here?

Do you need a religious holiday to recognize the importance of 

Faith, peace, love, hope.

Wouldn’t it be nice 

If we could live those thoughts

Every day

And not act like religion owns them.

Wouldn’t it be nice if 

Faith was personal,

Peace was universal,

Love came easily and stayed longer,

Hope could make dreams come true.

Celebrate a birth

Celebrate a miracle

Celebrate a heritage

Celebrate the solstice

Celebrate believing in whatever you choose

Celebrate not believing.

Just take the time

To be happy for at least a day

And to love yourself forever.

 

 

Full Moon adventures

 

There’s a full moon

The sky looks blue, instead of black.

There’s barking in the distance.

Dogs? Coyotes? Foxes? Wolves?

In a forest,

It’s most likely not domesticated animals.

The full moon is so bright,

There are shadows.

No need for a flash light.

No need for any lights.

The glow from the moon

Is brighter

Than the sun on a hazy day,

It’s a clear night,

Full of barking,

A full moon,

Stars,

A few stray white clouds,

And a light cool breeze.

According to the calendar, 

Winter begins in three days.

There’s already been snow.

There are Christmas lights in town

In the forest,

The animals are calling out their greetings

To the new season.

Been Silent so long

I’m not sure where this one came from.

Been silent for so long

Which will surprise some people

Who think you are too loud

Interrupt too much

Talk too much

In general, are too out there.

But you know

Things about yourself

That they don’t know

The times when

You chose not to speak.

You weren’t capable of speaking.

You felt like speaking up wouldn’t be worth the effort.

You had no idea how to explain.

How you couldn’t think of words that could describe how you felt,

How you couldn’t think, period.

How you thought it would never end.

The flashbacks.

The pain that comes out of nowhere.

The dreams that turn into nightmares.

Been silent so long,

That when you start to talk,

It seems like you’re speaking a foreign language,

In a voice that isn’t your own.

And then, at some point, 

you hear yourself,

And realize, 

This is your voice,

These are your words,

This is your life.

And you can‘t stay silent any more.

Happy birthday mom

Having a tough day physically which has led to some dark thoughts.

Tomorrow would have been mom’s 93rd birthday.

I should be feeling some kind of significance in that

But at the moment, I’m not.

I’m too wrapped up in my life,

My current misery of a bad reaction to a flu shot,

My day-to-day solitary existence,

Unrequited love,

And.whatever else I tend to focus on when it is all about me, 

whether it is fiction or fact.

I could argue that it should always be about me,

After all, there’s no one else nearby who cares about me enough

to Take care of me,

No one to fuss over me when I need fussing,

No one to tell me to get a grip when I need a reality check,

No one to buy groceries when I can barely move,

No one to make me a cup of tea or heat up leftovers.

No one but me to cook, clean, comfort, and love me.

No one but me to endure the holiday greetings

And questions about trees and families and feasts.

I’m not sure how thinking about mom’s birthday brought me 

to such a cold assessment of my existence.

I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself,

Wearing three layers and I can’t get warm.

My back aches, my hands and hair are too dry

And I can’t play on my day off.

Friends and family,

The two themes that suck me into

periods of self reflection and depression.

They sucked my mom in too.

She had so many friends,

And then she had none.

All she had was family,

And as it became harder to stay in touch,

And the close cousins began to die,

She lost a big part of her heart.

And shuttered herself.

Then the memories got confused

and her capacity to communicate

diminished.

Until she was finally able to 

be at peace.

Sleep well, mom.