Some Days

 

Some Days

Some days it hurts to be human.

Too many tears,

Too many perceived mistakes, failures, put-downs.

Too much anxiety about things beyond my control.

Too much, too much, too much.

Want to walk, run, hide,

Want to scream, punch, throw,

Want to rage uncontrollably.

Don’t want to feel the need to do those things.

Don’t want to feel those emotions. 

Don’t want to feel broken.

Some days,

I hurt.

Some days,

I find it hard to be human.

Some days,

I wish I could 

tune out the world,

And not worry about the future,

Not worry about work or family or friends,

Not worry about how someone interprets my words or actions.

Some days,

I just want to 

disappear from view,

Relax my brain,

Enjoy what I have,

Enjoy the moment,

Enjoy the things I do right.

Some days, 

I don’t want to leave my safe zone,

I don’t want to return

to being human,

The discord, disconnects, disappointments.

I don’t want to return to reality,

Hearing, seeing, getting caught up in

dissonance,

Words and actions I don’t understand.

I know

I can’t control what other people do,

I know

I can’t always control what I do.

Being human is hard.

Some days I love everything about life,

Some days are up and down,

And some days I want to give up.

But I don't quit,

And I never will.

I like being a human,

And for the most part,

It’s worth the effort and pain.